Following on from 10 things I learned in the last 10 months and with a 23rd birthday looming I decided it would be the perfect time to share my (not so wisdomous) wisdom that I had accumulated in my short twenty three years on earth. At the risk of sounding like an over-counselled institutionalised weirdo I’ve included some not-so-serious claims in an effort to lighten my list. Considering it the length of time it took me to write this sorry account I’m going to go now and get a head start on 30 before 30.
1. Don’t have sex. Because you will get pregnant and die. No I’m totally joking just make sure you use adequate prevention methods. If you’re not ready for early evenings on the sofa and even earlier mornings spent there, it’s time to use protection kiddos.
2. Boundaries. Have them, respect them and establish them early on in all relationships in life. When you say no to someone, mean it. Don’t give into something just because it might be “easier”.
3. Forgive and forget. Life’s far too short to hold grudges. You never know what’s around the corner for you, or for someone else.
4. Don’t go to sleep without saying sorry. You’ll sleep a zzzz-Illion times better. Trust me.
5. Fruit tastes nice in salads. Gone are the days that I sieved the pomegranate pips from my fourth superfood salad of the working week I now have a newfound appreciation for all things sweet amongst my savoury. Strawberries and feta? Divine.
6. Always say thank you. If someone doesn’t thank you for even the most menial of tasks it leaves you constantly trying to “make it up to them”.
7. Say “no” more often. If you find yourself saying “yes” to every party invite, work outing and coffee date that comes your way and you’re often ending up racing and frazzled, it’s probably time to politely decline. Over selling yourself will not only lead to sleepless nights but it’s also not fair on the people you are scrambling to meet. Instead of a half-listened, overly rushed brunch date and a last-minute-let-down other friend, meet people less often for longer.
8. Expect nothing. Not everyone you meet in life will hold the same standards as you do. If you don’t expect anything from anyone anything above is an added bonus.
9. Accept what you cannot change. Live in the here and now. Make the most of every moment. Be present.
10. Why be moody when you can shake your booty.
11. Hangovers do get worst with age. Gone are the days where I could drink my own body weight in my parents “borrowed” Bacardi day after day in a vacant field in the suburbs of Dublin. The day after the night before now mostly consists of a litre of diorolyte, four aspirin and at least two takeaways.
12. People always ask do I have many friends with babies. And while the answer is yes I do have some friends with children (and I love them all to pieces and have a huge amount of respect and admiration for them) I have more friends who don’t. And I love it. Because we all need a break from talking about things that are milk and poo related.
13. I tried mum and baby classes and I hated them. The idea of baby yoga was a great novelty. I had visions of me and Harry falling asleep together in an obscure convoluted position during the “relaxation” portion of the hour only to be met with constant whinging and a few near misses with feet and my eyes.
14. Being a mum doesn’t mean you need to lose your identity. Go back to work. Get your hair done. Go for dinner. Do all the things you used to do. (well maybe not all of them)
15. There are no songs about being 23. I took this as a sign that I was getting old-er.
16. Dress to impress. I can honestly say that one thing that majorly helped me through my first six months as a mother was getting dressed and putting my face on. It is so true that if you look amazing you will feel amazing. Never underestimate the ability of a mid-heeled shoe.
17. Know your limits. Stress, alcohol, money, friendships. While we all would like to go above and beyond in the work place, drink that sixth glass of Merlot buy that new pair of shoes instead of paying our rent.. Remember that if you stretch yourself too thinly there are bound to be (widespread) consequences. Living within your limits is a sure fire way to lessen anxiety. (To be followed 75% of the time.. Otherwise life would be far too boring)
18. Just. Breath.